One in a Million

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Some guys just seem like they were made to be dads. Not that all of us guys can’t get there eventually, but some, like maybe one in a million, seem like they come ready made to be great dads.

Josh Tenney is one of those.

I’ve had the opportunity to know Josh through some key milestones in his life, from finally finding The One (took awhile, but she was worth the wait), to his marriage to her, to giddily expecting his first child, to her birth.

Anna Liberty Tenney. A little sweet-pea, if ever there was one.

I also saw Josh go through the pain of seeing his treasured Anna stricken with sunburns so severe, even with limited exposure to the sun and the protection of copious amounts of sunscreen, her eyes would blister shut.

Several trips to the doctor’s office later, as well as traveling cross country to the specialists at the National Institutes of Health in D.C., the diagnosis was confirmed. Anna has XP, an extremely rare condition that has changed how the whole family’s lives.

Some characterize XP as being allergic to the sun, but Josh points out it is much more than that.

“Each day, Anna’s skin is covered with sunblock and lotions,” writes Josh on his blog. “She must remain indoors to be completely safe. Before going outdoors on occasion, Anna must wear shoes, long pants, long sleeved shirts, gloves, sunglasses, and a custom made hat with a specialty UV-blocking plastic face shield.”

Josh has created a blog about his daughter’s life with XP. It’s called Anna Liberty: A Girl Who’s One in a Million, including this post here, which explains how the family is approaching the coming summer, with its longer days, but with the treasured warm, post-sunset hours, when Anna becomes a night owl.

Math for me seldom makes sense. But sometimes, when the one-in-a-million kid scores the one-in-a-million dad, it clicks.

Dad U.

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That may be me in the picture, learning with my little brother the fine art of hammering stuff, though it’s the kind of scene that plays itself out every day all across the world: a dad patiently coaching his boys when clearly it would be easier to do the thing himself. But such dads aren’t as interested in the things they’re building as much as the future dads they’re building.

In the aftermath of the day of celebrating dads, a flurry of posts have emerged that demonstrate how much dads have made a big impact on our own dadness in the MDB community. Here are some highlights about how we feel not only about our dads, but our own responsibilities of being dads.


Me: I can’t believe I have a patch of gray hair.

Anna: You have gray hair, Daddy? That means you’re old. (starts getting upset) I don’t want you to get old!

Me: I’m not that old, sweetie. I’m just a little bit old.

Wife: (pointing at my head in the mirror) See? It’s a patch.

Anna: You’re going to die soon.

Me and wife: ….?

Anna: (Starts singing) You’re going to die soon, you’re going to die soon…

I don’t think there’s any better way to celebrate father’s day than to have your eldest daughter sing a song about how ‘you’re going to die soon’ upon hearing about your first patch of gray hair.” Josh Weed, The Weed (read Father’s Day Song)


“My sweet wife must be just a wee bit disturbed that I have resurrected what she views as a seemingly superficial appreciation for the Three Stooges after at least a decade of dormancy. She overlooked my mania for the three kings of slapstick comedy when we started our lives together back in ’84. As I have grown in the Gospel and in life, she probably assumed that I had matured out of that immature phase, and graduated to more settled, approved entertainment options such as soap operas and grisly crime dramas. However, I never really abandoned the Three Stooges; I just emotionally buried them for awhile, waiting for the right moment. Father’s Day 2011 is that right moment.” Richard Tait, Mormon Third Eye (read I See… A Mormon Third Eye Father’s Day Special! Serious Silliness: How the Three Stooges Blesses the Lives of Men of the Church


“Alas, my kids are stuck with me for their father. I don’t do sports and I’m no superhero. But I do try to be a good father. On occasion I actually succeed.” Scott Hinrichs, Reach Upward (read A Dad, Not a Superhero)


“Fathers, remember back in high school when we were on a sports team and we had to do two, and some times even three-a-day practices? They were hard. But in the end, after the buzzer sounded, the whistle blew and the game was over, all that roughness paid off.

“Having Macey home is a three-a-day (actually its more like an all-day) practice. But she is here. She is healthy. She the prettiest thing, next to her mom, that I have ever seen. She is 8 pounds and 10 ounces of pure joy. She is the light of our home. Its a good rough.” Scott Bagley, Macey n’ Me (read Best Father’s Day Gift Ever)


“Is that really so much to ask? One day a year when we don’t look at deadbeats or abusers and instead look at the good guys and say, ‘You rock!’ Not, ‘You need to do better,’ or make nudge-nudge-wink-wink jokes about how goofily sweet and clueless dads are. I think dads deserve better than that.” Braden Bell (read Happy Father’s Day, With No Qualifications or Guilt Trips)


“My dad always kept his ties tied. ‘Tie ‘em once and you’re done,’ was his motto. At the end of the day he’d loosen his tie, slip it over his head and hang it on his tie rack. Now I see a couple of my boys doing the same thing.” Kevin Beckstrom, Beckstrom Buzz (read Family Ties, or Thanks, Dad!)


Abel Keogh posted a link to maybe the best father-son scene in all of moviedom. Be sure to visit Father’s and Sons.


“Harry Potter’s parents are dead and his aunt and uncle are horrible. Luke Skywalker’s dad became a Sith Lord. Katniss’ mom was a vegetable for a while.

“The litany of media that portrays families as dysfunctional and broken and populated by selfish jerks is long and irritating, because I don’t think it’s fair. I think there are far more families that are trying hard to stay together and be a loving family than there are these other types.” Jared Garrett (read A Celebration of Fathers)


“In the hundreds of Sunday School lessons and Seminary classes that he will attend but rarely pay attention to, may there be something that sticks. May there be enough seeds planted that faith eventually fills his being.

“Give him strength to never accept the offered beer or cigarette, or myriad other substances that he is taught to avoid. May the Ginger Ale or the 2-liter Mountain Dew be the extent of his binge drinking.

“During his teen years when he likes me about as much as anyone likes BO, help me, Lord, to be patient and compassionate that I not give up. He needs his father.” Bitner, Modern Mormon Men (read A Mormon Father’s Prayer For His Son)


And last, but not least: In The Art of Manliness, Brett McKay shares with us his take on the 12 Best Movies About Fatherhood.


Surviving Pregnancy: A Guide for Expectant Dads

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Okay, so maybe as guys we don’t actually carry the babies ourselves. But the fact of the matter is, the pregnancy experience is fraught with peril for the soon-to-be father who dares traverse that 9-month minefield unawares.

Fortunately, newly expectant father Scott Bagley shares with others about to embark this journey the lessons he’s learned thus far from his experience as he’s about to have his first child.

It includes such gems as Rule #17:

NEVER buy your wife Reebok Shape-ups as an after pregnancy gift.

And Rule #21:

DON’T be offended if she all of a sudden can beat your best friend in a burping contest.

Scott is a BYU-Idaho junior who works two part-time jobs and goes to school full time. He’s been married 11 months and is chronicling the experience of preparing to be a new dad in his blog, Macey and Me.

Welcome Scott (and Macey) by reading 25 Things NOT to do When Your Wife is Pregnant.

Prom: Better Late?

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Geoffrey Sagers is just a regular Mormon dad who blogs (in Chronicles of Geoff) about whatever project he is working on, be it home improvement, self improvement or family outings.

But more than a decade after his wife didn’t get asked to prom, Geoff did something pretty extraordinary. When it comes to prom, maybe late isn’t just better than never, maybe it’s just plain better.

Geoff even let his wife tell the story in her blog. We can learn a lot from Geoff. (Let’s hope our wives don’t see this.)

When Geoff isn’t working on earning husband of the year honors, he is busy being the father of five. His oldest daughter has special needs. “She is my incentive to live right,” says Geoff.

Welcome Geoff to MDB by starting with his link to his wife’s post in Prom 2011.

Nuggets of Another Kind

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Without wishing to give away too much (for those of you for whom the movie “Bambi” has yet to make it to the top of your Netflix queue), let’s just say there is a tragedy that occurs deep within the movie involving hunters and a certain relative of the lead character.

Over the years, this tragedy has surely led to more than a few nightmares for traumatized young viewers. But a mid-story, stop-everything-let’s-talk-about-this inquiry about the particulars of this tragedy by Josh Weed’s 4-year-old daughter took an interesting turn that is the kind of stuff that could lead to nightmares for the grownups.

You don’t want to miss Josh’s post, Bambi Nuggets.

Josh is a 30-year-old father of three, a therapist and a writer who lives in the greater Seattle area. He writes a humor blog called The Weed (which is OK, because that’s his name, see?). Josh sets out to talk frankly and openly about family life and other things in a way that he hope enriches people’s perspectives about fatherhood, Mormonhood and personhood.

Welcome, Josh, to MDB.

The Path to “I Love You” Starts Here

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Listening intently for 20 minutes to his 2-year-old’s bedtime recounting of his day spent with toy tractors resulted in a heart-melting surprise for dad Mark Wilcox.

“Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

It was the first time his son had shared that sentiment with him, even though Mark had told him that countless times. It taught Mark a valuable lesson:

“Talking to your children is incredibly important. He knew how much I loved him, I’d told him so many times and shown it in countless ways. But it wasn’t until I let all the attention fall on him and his experiences that he wanted to tell me the same thing.”

The path to keeping the “I love you” lines open starts early.

A newcomer to MDB’s pages, Mark is a professional writer and photographer living with his wife and 2.75 kids in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. His blog, The Apparent Parent, focuses on family, fun and fatherly advice.

Welcome Mark to MDB via his post, How to Get Your Children to Tell You They Love You.

The Zen of Family Prayer Chaos

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Sure, it may be our job as dads to put out the call for family prayer, but what happens after that isn’t entirely within our control.

And whereas family prayer used to signal bedtime when blogger Jeff Westover’s kids were little, now that many of his girls are in their teens, family prayer seems to signal the start of a family social.

A half hour after family prayer ended, Jeff writes that “the girls are still going at it in the other room, laughing, giggling, yelling and, where appropriate, doing handstands or comparing outfits or makeup and carrying on as women and sisters do.”

Moments to savor, according to Jeff.

“I know some day I’m going to miss the chatter of my girls late into the night after prayer much as I miss the sound of little feet running on our wood floors of years ago.”

Read more about what Jeff calls celestial moments in his post, The Chaos of Family Prayer.

Marriage is for Whom?

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“Marriage is for losers.”

That’s the bold assertion of Richard Tait, a new addition to the MDB community, in a recent post on his blog. The assertion is especially odd in light of a recurring theme of our most recent General Conference, in which the importance of marriage was raised frequently (or seemingly incessantly if you are a single, recently returned missionary).

“If you want to enjoy a long, happy marriage, you have to be committed to being a big loser. In fact, it’s best if you are both losers,” writes Richard.

Find out what he’s getting at in his post I See… Marriage is for Losers.

Richard blogs from Maryland, where he is the proud father of a returned-missionary son and a high school senior daughter. Richard writes that he’s been “married to the same woman for 25 years, and its been the best 22 years of my life.”

His blog is called Mormon Third Eye and sports an eerie banner that is the kind of thing that would confirm my suspicions as a kid that my mom had one: an all seeing eye that could tell from the other side of the house who had his hand in the cookie jar.

Welcome Richard and the Mormon Third Eye to MDB.

Don’t Worry Sweetheart, Got it Covered!

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Nothing builds appreciation for our wives like having them go out of state for a few days, leaving us to hold down the fort.

But leave it to Christopher Clark, theater professor and father of five, to figure out how to build appreciation among his wife for the need to come home. Quickly, if at all possible.

Enjoy this post from Mr. Mom, Dad’s in Charge!

Flying House Sleepovers and Other Birthday Expectations of a 6-year-old

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Remember that post (Outrageous Kid Parties and Potato Chips) a couple of weeks back about the extraordinary lengths some parents will go to for their kids birthdays, including the Utah mom who allegedly spent $32K on her 6-year-old’s birthday party? Mere child’s play, in comparison to the expectations of Christopher Clark’s 6-year-old, Hugh, who celebrated his birthday a few days ago.

Christopher posted a few birthday celebration scenarios that he and his wife brainstormed that might possibly have a prayer of meeting the expectations that had been building for the 364 days leading up to their son’s birthday. Nothing that a roof-top pony ride, a community of elves, or a sleepover at a flying house powered by helium balloons can’t take care of.

Don’t miss Christopher’s post, “Our Special Boy!